If a construction worker went to work without his toolbox he would be in deep trouble. Matter fact, he would probably not be able to accomplish anything that day and lose a day of work. The same is true for us when we encounter a situation where there is conflict or disagreement.If we do not have some new healthy tools that we can draw from (our toolbox) we are destined to draw from the old tools and strategies (yelling, criticising, silent treatment, threats, intimidation, etc.) that only cause more pain and keep us further away from getting the resolution that we want.
So, here are a couple tools that we can put in our communication toolbox and keep close at hand. If we draw from these tools we will break down the walls that go up many times in our communication with others and build bridges to understanding each other and empathasizing with each other's feelings and needs. This is what brings resolution and enriches our relationships with others.
COMMUNICATION TOOLBOX
1. Timeout (leaving the situation for one hour and coming back after one hour to talk)
2. “I” statements (Example: “I feel frustrated because I need cooperation.”)
3. Fishing Exercise (Example: “Do you feel ________ because you need ________?”)
4. Stitching (repeating back what your partner said)
5. Nonviolent Communication (Giraffe Language)
6. Positive Self-Talk
7. Deep Breaths
8. Reality Checks
9. Journaling (includes 3 column journaling)
10. Making Requests
CAPTION: "Photo courtesy PDPhoto.org."
