When we remember our family and our childhood we all have certain memories or pictures that are filed in our minds. It is as if we have a family album stored there. These images can be good or bad. And these images are very powerful. Matter fact they can shape our lives, our way of seeing ourselves and our future family experiences.
For example if we have stored in our minds a memory of our father or mother abusing us or beating us, this will inevitably affect us in a negative way. We may have a resentment towards our parents, lack of trust, abandonment issues, co-dependency, addictions, self-esteem issues, agressive tendencies, and alot more possible things that may result. Many times because of this children repeat the mistakes of their parents when they have kids (without even realizing what is going on).
The Bible tells us that we will have to deal with the sins of our parents as well. It reads, "You [God] show love to thousands but bring the punishment for the father's sins into the laps of their children after them (Jeremiah 32:18, NIV).
Exodus 20:4-6 tells us that their sins will "visit" the children to the third and fourth generation.
What does that mean?
It means that whether we like it or not we need to deal with the effects of our parents mistakes and confront them or we are destined to repeat history. The best way to confront this is to review the family album we have in our minds. By looking at the negative images and memories we can begin to evaluate them and find out what went wrong. For example, how have these images or events shaped our thoughts, our views, or our capacity to love? I encourage you to take some time to examine and reflect. Below are some questions that can help you deal with the negative images and the distorted thoughts that are stored in your family album. The key once you identify them is to replace the distorted thoughts with positive truth statements.
Other questions to think about:
How have these negative family images or events shaped your thoughts, your views, and/or your capacity to love?
How has my past experiences in my family contributed to the way I view myself and others (children, spouse, friends, co-workers, etc)?
What distorted thoughts/perceptions do I have about myself and others? About family? What are some true positive thoughts about yourself and family?
What distorted images about myself do I visualize first and why?
How has my negative experiences with my family affected me?
